Hi.
As you can see, I have my social-media links (at least, the most important ones?) set up in the sidebar on the blog and at the bottom of the site on every other page. So that’s not what this individual page is for.
I set this page up to explain some ground rules.
1. I write what I want in my own space. I don’t care how you interact with that space — if you go straight to my profile or if you see me pop up in your newsfeed or even if I share a post of yours with my commentary added in my own posting space — it is still my space, my turf, my rules, my say. Not yours. Mine.
(a) Commenting on my post to tell me off for what I say or (b) writing cryptic posts on your own account telling me what I am allowed to post will get you unfriended or unfollowed or blocked, as necessary. As far as (b) goes, yes, you also have the right to post whatever you want if it doesn’t violate terms of service, but what you don’t have the right to do is tell me what to do and then expect that you will remain connected to me. I don’t play that shit. Bye.
Under rare circumstances I may keep a person around who does this because there’s a larger issue at stake. The odds are not in your favor that you fall under those circumstances. Wanna try it? No? Good call. Yes? Save us both the trouble and unfriend/ unfollow me now. Save that Little Lord/ Lady Fauntleroy shit for someone else. They won’t like you either. “Oh, I don’t need anyone to like me.” Yeah, I used to say that too. And then I wound up homeless. Friends are wealth. Don’t squander yours.
2. I block rarely — under unusual circumstances such as the other person’s extreme rage or extreme irrationality, including leaving tons of laugh reacts on my Facebook for no good reason (you being a dick is not a good reason). You blocking me when we haven’t had a direct confrontation or a serious confrontation (me disagreeing with you on a political point or not sharing your views on diet does not count as serious) is a sign of hostility in my book. If that’s how you meant it, great. Good riddance. If you’re sorry later, I will consider us fully back on good terms when you unblock me and not before. Adding me to a new account while blocking me on the old one doesn’t count.
3. Read for comprehension. Bad enough when you pick a fight. Worse when you pick a fight because you did not understand what I was saying. Ask me what I meant, don’t tell me what I meant. Especially if we have been connected for a while and have always gotten along. No, I did not suddenly turn into a troll. Like as not you are having a shitty day. Do not take it out on me.
4. Relatedly, I don’t speak in code. I am fairly certain I’m autistic just going off my life experience and ongoing social difficulties. Late in life I’m coming to understand that so-called “normal” people expect to have to interpret everything everyone else says because no one ever wants to just say what the fuck they mean. I am not one of those people. If I’m in a delicate situation with a person who is behaving badly, I may not come out and say they’re an asshole, but I’m not going to tell them they’re wonderful either. There are other circumstances in which the situation might be delicate where I can’t just blurt out whatever, but whatever I do say, it’s going to be as honest as I can be. I’m not going to say black is white. There is no need to read extra whatever into the words I say. If you are ever confused by something I’ve said, let me repeat myself: ASK ME.
And by the way, I really hate repeating myself.
Conversely, don’t pull the code thing with me either. If you say it, I’m going to assume you literally mean it unless there’s an obvious metaphor or simile or analogy in play. I am also fluent in Sarcasm, but that doesn’t always come across properly in text-based media.
5. I have opinions about various issues. Sometimes I am highly confident in my opinions about various issues. Expecting a woman to never be confident when you expect confidence from a man is misogynistic. Do not bring that shit into my space.
Also, if one of your personal struggles is an issue you have SEEN me talking about, go deal with that yourself. I am not your therapist nor your punching bag. Unless I am actually calling for harming someone — and we better be talking about actual harm, not “I can’t maintain my delusion when you don’t agree with my lies” — there ain’t a damn thing for you to call out, so calm the fuck down. I’m sorry. I know the struggle can be brutal. I’ve been fighting my weight and my relationship issues for fucking decades. I’ve ruined my relationships with both my kids — a lot of it was out of my hands, but I still have to live with the part I played. I get it. But when something is not a person’s fault, don’t MAKE it their fault. You’re an adult. Fucking act like one.
6. I am somewhat aware that there are people talking about me somewhere. I don’t know who, I just know it’s happening — some other people have alerted me to the fact. (Rut-roh.) There are always people talking about me somewhere, and have been for years. I mean, we’re all human and we all talk about other people. It is inevitable. But somehow I always seem to draw… fan clubs. Putting it lightly. I have no idea why.
If you’ve run into that and you’ve come to see what’s up with me, the quickest way to get answers is to ask me about whatever-it-is directly. Unless I think I have very good reasons not to, I’m likely to answer you. Don’t just add me on your social media and then sit there like a rotten tooth in a socket gathering intel for your little fucking hen party. Eventually I will find out, or I will get suspicious, and then you’re getting a fucking root canal.
Honestly. The world is burning and all some people can do is stir up shit. I don’t know what you think you need, but I don’t have it. Go somewhere else.
7. Yes, I’m single. No, I have not completely given up on men. However. What I’m about to complain about isn’t a problem so much anymore because I am old, fat, ugly, poor, and weird, but every once in a great while it looks like I’ve had a close call, so let me say this: Don’t flirt with me unless you mean it, and don’t mean it unless there’s actually a chance in hell we could actually get together. These assholes who reach out to women for idle online entertainment and don’t intend to follow through: Fuck off. It’s fucking cruel to encourage a person to think you might be into them when they’ve been alone for years and years. Unless you hate me, in which case I won’t be able to persuade you against this behavior, cut me some fucking slack. Do not even flirt. I WILL most likely take it the wrong way — remember, I’m quite literal-minded.
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Okay, I think that’s it. As for the rest of you, I’m easy and I’m often boring. I also have a short attention span. Please don’t take it personally. Thanks.
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I may write a post on the blog about social-media doings now and again. Look for those under the social media category.